Anger is the quiet killer of many personal and professional relationships. You must cultivate "understanding" if you wish to prevent it. This necessitates emotional intelligence.


Emotional intelligence enables you to create connections that are calmer, deeper, and more meaningful. It implies that you are aware of your own emotions and sentiments, as well as those of others.


To comprehend your own anger, you must first identify it and ensure that it is not confused with other emotions.


Scientists have discovered that particular emotions manifest themselves in specific places of the body, even across cultures. For example, if you have tenseness or discomfort in your chest, head, throat, or arms, it is most likely due to anger. Other sentiments occur in different places of the body, which have all been discovered and mapped in the Body Atlas.


The Body Atlas's brilliance is that if you're unsure about whatever emotion you're feeling, you can check in with your body to discover which exact place is reacting. Different emotions and feelings necessitate different answers, but for today, we'll concentrate on rage.


I've discovered that the most efficient technique to deal with rage is to employ a two-pronged approach that includes emotional intelligence:


1. Recognize and label your emotions as soon as possible.


Is it the distance? Frustration? If you're unsure, consult the Body Atlas or the Wheel of Emotions.


You'd be astonished at how beneficial it is to simply label your sentiments and the core emotions that underpin them. When you label a feeling as frustration and its fundamental emotion as rage, for example, an intriguing shift occurs in the brain, and you begin to recognize familiar coping behaviors, both good and bad. This provides you the option of sticking with what has previously worked for you or rejecting what has not. In other words, knowing what the ailment is allows you to apply the appropriate medication, or at the very least hunt for the solution in the appropriate "medicine cabinet."


You can tell if someone is angry by looking at their facial expressions and body language. The greater your emotional intelligence, the greater your ability to achieve this.


2. Put yourself in the shoes of the other person and try to understand where they are coming from.


Most likely, the person who is making you furious did not do so deliberately, and even if they did, attempting to understand their reason will help you determine which coping techniques would be useful.


It's useful to recall your empathy capacity whether you're furious or dealing with someone who is angry. Empathy allows you to momentarily adopt another person's point of view in order to loosen the grip that negative emotions have on you, allowing you and the other party to become more positive and constructive.


At the end of the day, you must realize that you are solely accountable for your emotions. Yes, another person may have acted in a way that irritated you, but you are totally accountable for your reaction, whether angry or not. So, if you notice your fever rising and your fists clenching, slow down, take several deep breaths, and ask yourself, "Why did this person do this?" "What was their driving force?" If you don't know, find out, either directly from them or through a third party.


Understand that people who struggle with anger tend to erupt when provoked. Their rage is the result of an overstimulated amygdala, which, in a bloodless coup, hijacks the brain and drives it to act in ways that are not always sensible or reasonable. Alternatively, feelings are sometimes buried and allowed to flourish and fester.


Begin imitating another person's anger by referring to it to comprehend it with empathy and assist them defuse it. Mirroring the information shows that you understand their emotions. It indicates that you are paying attention and caring.


Validating other people's rage is another technique to develop your empathy. This does not imply that the other person is correct in their thoughts or feelings. It is more about recognizing their actions and emotional state and demonstrating that you understand. At its most basic, you may inform them that, given their perception of the circumstance, you would feel the same way.


Last Thoughts


Anger is frequently the result of one or more people not feeling heard, understood, or appreciated. Understanding and breaking cycles of rage, both your own and others', requires two powerful techniques: identifying and mirroring/validating feelings with empathy. Emotional intelligence is useful for improving communication, relationships, and team dynamics.


Commit to making the most of these strategies. Accept that the emotion of anger that you have identified is real, and that you understand or would like to learn more about the other person. While it may feel difficult at first, you will soon notice that out-of-control emotional spirals may be transformed into mutually beneficial settlements.


S. Whitener (2022). Understanding Is the Key to Overcoming Anger, According to a Council Post. Retrieved 15 August 2022, from